2,000 kids, 34 towns, 1 show --------- MY NATIONAL TOUR

Commercials

2008-12-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

So, I did this Old Spice Body wash commercial that I thought I would share since it is a performance worthy of an Oscar.

Ohhhh Fairbanks, Alaska, how your sun never sets...

2008-07-01T11:34:00.000-07:00

Daylight for 20 hours a day, North America's tallest mountain and the NORTH POLE?!?! What could be better?!? Granted we had just 30 kids this week (none of which have ever been in a play before and 3 if them decided not to come to the 2nd show) but if there is a duo in this company that can make a show of it, Shirnest and I are that team!

Let's start our journey in North Pole, Alaska:

I must say, Santa and his lovely wife were a bit thrown when I lept into his lap, but it was payback time for when he gave me that toothbrush instead of a x3000 nerf gun when I was 6.
And yes, I need a haircut.

Let the record show that all of the street lamps in the North Pole are NOT made of delicious candy.

Possibly some of the nicest people we met. We walked by and the firemen invited us in and gave us a tour ending with letting me try my hand at driving their newest $525,000 engine.
And James Carville has left his life as a democratic strategist to fight those raging Alaskan fires.

When we started our hike up Mt. Heely (right near Mt. Mckinley) the people told us we would not see any wildlife so far down and that we should pay the $60 to take a bus up higher. Well, within 5 minutes of our free hike, this hungry little fella peered over at me...

Possibly one of the scarier moments in my life but well worth the picture. Shirnest yelled to me right after the picture, "Christopher, your mother is going to kill you."

And there she is, Shirnest J. Tolbert, the world's best tour partner. We had one of the local female mountain sheep snap this one for us...thanks Peetrie.
Gas is $5.39 a gallon here which is why the Moose have switched to Segways.

Before we went on-stage we asked the cast here in Fairbanks, Alaska what they liked most about doing a show in a week. Here is what they had to say...

Alaska and Hawaii!

2008-06-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

I just found out a few days ago that as of June 22nd, I will be touring Alaska and Hawaii for 8 weeks with The Little Mermaid! I had no intention of leaving my Off-Broadway Comedy Improv. show here in NY but I really couldn't say no to this one...

So, I will be posting pictures and videos from 2 of the best states in the U.S, 18 hours of sunlight and all.....

Pearl Harbor

2007-07-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

After rehearsal we went with a bunch of our show kids to one of the biggest flea markets in the U.S. which completely surrounds the University of Hawaii football stadium.
Apparently our friend Brett, who plays King Backwards this week thought he wasn't gonna be dressed up by the older kids...ha ha.
I'm pretty like a peacock.
That very spot is where the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor and sunk the USS Arizona
And THAT my friends is the car that our company rented for us....I mean I knew there was LOADS of money in Children's Theatre but ohhhh mama.....

Tomorrow the kids of Hawaii are taking me surfing for my first time in Waikiki!!!!
Pics to come!

Day #2

2007-07-18T01:48:00.000-07:00

I got some video footage for everyone today! We went snorkeling down in North Shore and saw the most amazing tropical fish and Sea Turtles!!! Later we went to Suicide Rock and I found 2 locals who were crazy enough to do flips off the top with me. I am the one on the end doing the back-flip off the 30 ft rock face....Don't worry Mother I am still alive.

Careful ladies he's takin......o.k. not really I've just always wanted to use that expression.

Snow White in Hawaii...DAY 1

2007-07-17T02:10:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Oahu, Hawaii Sunday night carrying no less than 11 giant duffel bags and 4 large boxes. When the lady at ticketing counter in San Fran. saw the bags she told us that there was simply no way we could take them all on the plane...but 2 difficult hours and $650 extra dollars later she was singin a different tune.
We almost lost a costume bag after it got sucked into the belt at the Hawaii airport but our friendly Hawaiian airport men cut it away after a good 15 minute struggle...Although it would have been funny if the bag had ripped open and 7 dwarf beards spilled out all over the conveyor..
Yea we had a lot of luggage but my friend Oba'knu Ukeleled away my sorrows...
Immediately following our 141 kid audition (A new Hawaii record!!!) Shirnest and I headed for North Shore for a day of luscious beaching...The kids of Los Banos bought and decorated a beach chair for me complete with name and picture of me wearing a Snow White dress...
Around sunset at a beach near Waikiki

I plan on doing some pics and a stoty every night this week so tune in for tomorrow nights installment!
Mahalo!

2007-06-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

Eighty-nine kids, ages 5 – 19, came out on Monday in Arizona to audition for 60 spots in "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves", a show that is brand spankin’ new to me. The kids immediately impressed Shirnest (my tour partner) and me but we weren't remotely prepared for the unique conundrum that would soon present itself.

The kids lined up in height order, as usual, in a big circle on the stage and started off the audition yelling their names and ages as loud as they could from tallest to the smallest. At the very, very end of the circle with a voice louder than any, stood a dwarf.

The flood of thoughts that ran through my head at that moment was unreal. The first one was something to the effect of, "Well this is certainly different." Then it moved to, "Man, how old is she?" And finally, "Even if she does make it, do we have a costume small enough to fit her?"

I kept saying to myself, "Great! She's talented, she has a big, clear voice, and she moves fabulously. There is definitely a part for her!" But as the audition went on we learned that she was 11-- too young for a leading role and too old for a forest animal. There were only a few roles left that were right for her age and talent. Or make that Hmmmm…say… seven roles…..

As the audition came to a close we decided to pull her aside and tell her what we were thinking but before we could even open our mouths she said, "Just so you guys know I am a Dwarf."

I was a bit confounded by this statement because I thought the correct term was "little person", and here this little girl is telling us that she is a Dwarf….O.K, now what…does she mean a dwarf in our show or in life…Is it even p.c. to actually cast her as a …….. my brain was jamming…crap, why aren’t we doing LITTLE MERMAID anymore….my train of thought was broken by: "My friends told me that I should audition today even though I kind of just want to be an assistant director"…..

Shirnest, never one to beat around the bush, came out firing with, "Chris and I think you would make an excellent Dwarf."

"Oh," replied the girl as she screwed up her face in concentration.

She stood there for several long moments thinking deeply as I fought the urge to throw up in my mouth a little…

"Well, I think that would be OK", she finally replied with a shrug.

So that sealed it! Fifteen minutes later we announced the parts and the kids auditioning neither seemed surprised or even impressed by the fact that we had just successfully cast a dwarf as a … dwarf!!

New Tour!

2007-05-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

So I just found out that in a week I will be touring Arizona, California, Las Vegas and a week in Hawaii! That's right we will be doing Snow White in Honolulu a month from now!
Currently I am on a luxurious 8 day vacation at home with the fam and then it's back to Montana to learn my new show "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves which shoud be a good time...
I have decided to end my contract at the end of August and then will decide what to do with my life after that...
And for your viewing pleasure today I present to you "On Eagle's Wings" which I sang at church this morning!
Enjoy!

I miss all you guys!
Chris

Being a Good Neighbor

2007-03-01T10:03:00.000-08:00

I’ve been pondering what to say about the kids last week for a few days now because they were a pretty special group; wildly talented, 100% committed and even more impressively, full of wonderful acting choices that added so much to the show.

The audition was one of the toughest yet, 154 kids crammed onto the stage all dying to be a part of the show. The first thing we do in the audition is have them say their name and age as loud and clear as they can and after the first 50 had yelled their names, we knew it was going to be difficult to cut 90 as the majority of them had bright clear voices and wonderful smiles. At the audition there were 2 mentally handicapped kids. We immediately knew these kids didn’t get many chances like this so they were put in the “yes” pile of kids and cast in the show.

On WednesdayI taught the Seahorses, the 5-7 year olds including Leah, a mentally challenged girl who I was very excited to get a chance to work with. The Seahorses have several song and dance numbers that required them to execute a series of moves while singing and then form two pretty difficult circles while “neighing” as loud as they can. I decided to give Leah a sea horse buddy to help her out even though she was doing quite well learning the steps on her own. I assessed the kids and decided on a bright faced, very intelligent girl named Lucy. It’s amazing to me how much you can tell about a kid’s character simply by looking at their face and Lucy did not let me down. All throughout rehearsal whenever Leah started looking lost, Lucy would grab her hand and say “C’mon Leah! It’s time to make our circles!” and Leah in turn would follow right along singing and galloping as loud as any sea horse out there.

There were points during the week when I knew that Lucy was feeling a bit overwhelmed, but at the age of 6, she was exhibiting qualities that most adults struggle with…being a good neighbor. And as I looked around back stage during show day I saw the older mentally handicapped girl receiving high fives from the other kids in her group having just successfully completed a difficult scene. Perhaps what was most impressive about the kids of Bartlett, TN was that not once did any of them talk down or avoid Leah or the other girl, but instead treated them just like any other kid in the show.

Lucy and the cast accepted these two girls without any judging or stereotyping resulting in one of the best productions of “The Little Mermaid” I have ever seen.

Here is a clip from when the Sinister Soldiers storm the kingdom
To the kids of Bartlett: You seriously rock my purple socks off!

Hardest week ever...

2007-02-03T22:57:00.000-08:00

The most amazing week of my touring life would be directly preceded by the most challenging. Last week was sort of surreal in a way as our every need was tended to
with the utmost support...This week has been a bit different
It began with the onslaught of 69 kids auditioning which is a scary number because our policy says that if 69 kids or less show up, 69 need kids need to be cast. If 70 kids show up, you can cut 15, but 69 is the "lucky" number. Of course we didn’t know that 16 kids (a lead mermaid, the king, and ALL 4 assistant directors to name a few) would quit, cutting our cast from 69 to 53. Now it may seem that this would be a blessing in disguise, but the fact that so many older kids bailed out, reeeeeally de-railed us.
First I had to be the king (which I had never attempted), then we had to re-write lines because we simply didn't have anyone to replace our mermaid, Amelia, so the other mermaids had to re-learn edited lines in a wildly short time. We jokingly threw around the idea of calling up some of our kids from last week considering half of our sea scouts decided to quit as well us as we ended up with 5 of them, instead of the usual 12. But Shirnest and I are TROOPERS and would not be defeated! So we did what we had to do and pulled off 2 pretty darn good shows although at one point during the second show I gave up trying to keep the kids quiet backstage and all mayhem broke loose....oops.

Playing the king in a costume designed for a 13 year old

Private School vs. The Navy

2007-01-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

This past week is going on the top 3 weeks of all-time for this job. This little private school in Gloucester, VA (WARE Academy) which had never brought in Missoula Children's Theatre before was simply amazing. The whole week was dedicated to drama and the kids who were not cast in the show were given other duties like decorating the gym, building masking, or transforming the foyer into a wonderful underwater cave. When we weren't in rehearsals, classes were playing theatre games or working on decorations. Never in my life have I seen a more all-inclusive effort by a school and never have a met a group of kids less inhibited and more open to whatever we threw at them.
Sure selling 71 t-shirts, having every meal paid for and getting to hang with them at lunch and playing football with boys and stuffing 15 1st graders on the sea-saw was great but when I say that I was not ready to leave this town, I was NOT READY to leave this town...
Now I am on my first military base, which are notorious for being extremely difficult but we shall see what the week brings...STAY TUNED!

Now you get to see how dedicated this school was!

The wonderful underwater cave that the kids bult in the Foyer

Even the Kindergarden and First graders chipped in with their 15 ft amazon mermaid and puffer fish
Monster jelly fish hung from the rafters and underwater masking was built on either sides of the stage
And for some reason they feel the need to make fun of Sherman, the sensitive Merman who loves cooking and underwater basket weaving...

O.K. I don't see the Piano Player...

2007-01-19T12:06:00.000-08:00

These were the very words that came out of the Queen's mouth 10 minutes after the show was supposed to start...
Let me set the scene real quick:
650 screaming children ages 4-10 who had already been sitting for 45 minutes and various cast members frantically pacing backstage tugging at my shirt saying things like:
"Are my friends out there?"
"I can't remember my first line"
"Ummm, Mr. Chris, Daniella just went pee-pee in her pants."
Now, combine all that with a woman who demanded that we start the show immediately, and you start to get the feel of the show this morning.
"Ma'am I realize these kids need to catch buses after the show," I pleaded, "but doing the show without a pianist will create a small catastrophe seeing as how the kids won't know when to start singing and all their entrances and exits happen when the music starts."
She promptly shrugged with a "sucks for you" kind of expression, walked out on stage, and announced the show.
I was pretty sure I had just met the most horrible woman alive and that she was kidding until I heard her say, "And now we present, The Little Mermaid!"
I pulled out my cell phone as fast as I could and called our emergency contact number…
"Hey Ellen, Cody isn't here and the show just started so if you could call him and just let him now that we are about to do the show acapella that would be great. Thanks!"

About halfway through the second number, the piano magically swooped in playing against a group of Sea Scouts who soon discovered they were singing about 10x to high.
Well, the kids didn't seem to notice or care as they clapped, cheered and giggled all the way through the show and yet again, someone was looking out for us in small town Tennessee

Kid's tell jokes to brighten up your day!

2007-01-13T13:09:00.000-08:00

Need a little giggle to brighten your day? Then you have come to the right place! Listen to the boys and girls of this week's production of "The Little Mermaid" tell some good ol' fashion childhood jokes...

And we'll end with a 15 second joke from our good friend Dillon the country boy...

And a few pics to cap off a great week:

You wish you were a Merman...
Our happy little set in small town, KY

Back in Business!

2007-01-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

After the most amazing break I have ever had which included a one week cruise to The Caymans, Belize, Cozumel and Costa Maya, Shirnest and I are back at it! The funniest thing about this week in Hazard, KY has got to be auditioning 60 kids with the thickest country accents I have ever heard. It's also a bit unnerving playing a country singing starfish at one point in the show because I can feel the kids wondering where in the world I learned such a terrible accent. Maybe I'll get a few pointers from the kids...
I will definitely be posting video interviews of the kids this week because they are simply priceless...

And now...Glorious Pics!

Everyone had a great time opening gifts...

A little xmas golf with the fam
The rooming situation on the ship was quite "snug"
At the port in Costa Maya with two girls we met on the ship
There was a new towel animal everyday we came back to the room!

And in closing, always rememeber that no matter how much you may think you hate you job, you will never hate it as much as this little fella does...

VIDEO BLOG!!!

2006-12-20T21:44:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, the time has come...I realize only so much of my writing can be interesting so I have decided to add videos for your viewing pleasure! They will all be VERY short (3 min. or less) so don't start thinkin your gonna have to stay in the night if you click the link or anything...

This video is from 3 weeks ago in Sedro Woolley, WA it snowed so hard our week was cancelled, so I decided to venture out into the back yard of the families house I was staying at and lets just say it was quite an adventure...sorta

Check it out!

2006-12-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

Utterly Powerless....

2006-12-08T11:05:00.000-08:00

In 5 months on tour I have never felt so powerless in the midst of 60 children...Shirnest and I have exhausted every discplinary skill we know and still these kids run around like maniacs and pay us no mind.

Well, today is the show and these kids are NOT ready. We have wasted more rehearsal time trying to get them quiet than actually running the show and frankly I am ready to give up. Don't get me wrong, some kids are in great shape and will deliver a stellar performance tonight but the majority of the cast has no idea what they are doing and what's worse, they don't know how to think on their feet and improvise lines.

What I've found in the past is that when the audience actually comes, the kids pull it together and are loud but this is an Indian Reservation where being loud and having that "LOOK AT ME!" enthusiasm is frowned upon by the elders of the tribe...

Tonight's show time: 7:00pm (western time) EEEEEEEK!!!

Audition

2006-12-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

This group was certainly one of the more difficult auditions we have ever had. These kids don't really pay much attention to anything and by the time we got them quiet and ready to go, we had wasted 40 minutes. In the Makah tribe, it is frowned upon to be loud and energetic with adults present (How are they going to perform in front of the tribe!?!?) so getting any kind of vloume and expression out of these kids took the entire audition so we literally had to wait till the last 20 minutes of the audition to cast the show.

Rehearsal afterwards with the lead roles wasn't half bad though except I am worried that they won't go home and study their lines as a mother told me that the parents here don't know how to help their kids so they just get frustrated and become useless... I guess we'll find out today!

Neah Bay, Washington?!?

2006-12-03T09:35:00.000-08:00

Though it may boast beautiful vistas and the most Northwest point in the U.S. we have heard that the kids who live on this Indian Reservation are among the toughest of any town on tour. Shirnest and I are up early this fine Sunday morning because we have to drive quite a ways and then take a ferry to get this remote location in Washington. I suppose God has prepared us for this harrowing task considering we have had the last two weeks off due to snow and such...

By the way, last night we had the truck in a parking garage in Seattle for a few hours and when we came back there was a note under the windshield written by a woman who had done Missoula Children's Theatre back in the days of yore and just wanted to tell us how much she loved us and wished us all the best in our endeavors...Wahooo, fan mail!!!

P.S. Do not worry, Pics to come my pretties!

The Power of Thought

2006-12-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

This week we were in Sedro Woolley, WA and I couldn’t wait for the auditions on Monday because past tour teams had told us that this was an awesome week. I woke up early on Monday morning to prepare for the day, opened up the blinds, and looked out on 8” of snow…A snow day?!?! My first reaction surprised me…“Great, now I’m stuck here all day in this house by myself” and “Is it EVER going to stop snowing?” The snow was pouring down in buckets and I sunk back into my bed and moped.

I love how somewhere in the last few years having a snow day had gone from the most wonderful thing a boy could dream of, to a day of misery and sheer boredom. I had subconsciously decided this day was going to suck, so I spent the first few hours of it accordingly…and yea, it sucked.

Around 11am I felt a little tug at my consciousness and a new thought entered my head; “Stop being a decrepit old man and go outside.”

I immediately resisted this new thought due to the lightness and joy which I knew it was trying to force me into. But after another 20 minutes of it pestering me I borrowed some snow stuff, grabbed a sled, and made my way outside.

5 minutes later I saw an 8th grade kid dragging his feet behind his parents and kicking snow dolefully, so I asked him if he wanted to go sledding. His parents told me that they didn’t own a sled so I told him that we could just share mine. The kid lit up (in his cool, 8th grade way) and we both ran to the top of the hill.

We spent the entire day sledding, building jumps and throwing massive snowballs at each other. I soon realized that there were no other kids in this neighborhood and since it was in the woods, they were secluded from everyone else. When it started getting dark he asked me if it was a snow day tomorrow could we hang out again. I said “Of course!” and we went our separate ways.

I'm Back!

2006-11-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

I feel disgusting that I haven't written anything in over a week but truth be told, things have been going amazingly well! Right now I am sitting in a brand new library in Bandon, OR overlooking the pacific ocean with gusts of 50 mph wind tearing away at the monstrous oceanic rocks.
Last week we had the most talented kids of the tour in Burns, and this week in Coquille, OR the kids are pretty darn close. I am so grateful to God that I found this job because I wake up most mornings and can't wait to get to work and see the kids. Last week I had to leave the kids mid-week and fly to Boston for a meeting, so on Friday the kids called me and sang the entire finale of the show over the phone just to show me how good they sounded! I also recieved a card from them the other day in which they all signed saying how much they missed me and wished I could have seen their show...
Though it may be true that some weeks are so bad you'd rather make love to a porcupine than go to rehearsal, it's the weeks like these that more than make up for it!

Thank you all again, dear readers, for following along and I LOVE YA!

Halloween and OUR FIRST SNOW!

2006-11-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

Yes it's true! I can't remember the last time I saw snow because of living in tropical climates for the last 8 years but on our way to Oregon we saw it! Unfortunately it came on a mountain pass and NO ONE was ready for it which meant 80 year olds, driving campers from the 1980's and 18 wheelers blocking 4 lanes of traffic. Ultimately what was meant to be a simple 3 hour drive turned into a 7 hour dog sled race....

They finally got this moron out of the way after blocking the enitre highway....

Cars and trucks were literally at a stand still because their tires wouldn't move.

Ahhhhh yes, it was Shirnest's day to drive and boy, she was one happy camper....

I was a sheep for Halloween... a sheep that once belonged to an 8 year old girl.
We went to a Corn Maize on Halloween...yes, that would be a large maze cut out of corn in which several very terrifying masked people would jump out at you in the pitch black night and scare the absolute crap out of you...This young goblin was nice enough to take a picture.
By far the scariest creature in the maze...he stood 12 feet tall and looked exactly like corn until he started chasing you with his huge razor claws.

That's all for now folks! This week we are in Burns, OR which is a Desert...I had no idea there was a desert in Oregon.

Oh, those little ones...

2006-10-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

This week has been a REAL wild one... A Friday morning show (NEVER had one) and a TON of 5 and 6 year olds with attention spans that would rival most small, furry animals.

At the audition we had 45 K-5th graders, which means we had to cast EVERYBODY, badly behaved, ADHD and those who have to pee every 6.6 seconds included. What made this week even tougher was that we had 21 5-6 year olds for just 18 sea horse parts! So we found the smartest 6 year olds we could and gave them HUGE upgrades. Then we had to cast 8 year olds as the King and Queen, a part usually reserved for 12 year olds and off we went!

Our greatest fears were realized when we started rehearsal and realized that these kids weren't retaining anything...Shirnest and I proceeded to greatly simplify choreography, cut songs, lines and even pair kids up to say lines together so that at least one of them might remember what to say...Still the kids struggled. We knew that our ridiculously early Friday morning show was 2 days away so we decided to extend rehearsals and really put the heat on to ensure that these kids would have a good show.

Then we found out that the actual stage was going to be at a completely new location and the audience on Friday was going to be the other 250 kids in the elementary school...So now, not only were they going to be nervous and disoriented by the new surroundings, the audience wasn't going to cut them ANY slack or give two craps how cute they looked in their costumes.

"All right troops! All of your friends are out there waiting for you to be brilliant! What do you think will happen if you say your lines quietly and act bored?" I said to them the morning of the show.
"They will get bored and quiet too!" said a sea horse.
"They'll fall asleep!" the 8 year old Queen shouted
"They'll throw things!" one of the older kids said
"That's right guys, ALLLLLLLLL of that stuff will happen. So how do we make sure they stay awake and excited during the show?"
"YELL ALL OF OUR LINES AND SMILE!!!" they screamed
"Exactly! so everyone think of your first line in the show and then yell it as loud as you can right now..."
"HEYMCAMS FIJDF AOJ FJAFGIR FJI AFGOIIVPQPARGIMERMAIDA!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was a deafening sound but I knew my little troops were ready to deliver. And did they ever!

Not a single line was dropped, not a single cue missed and what's even better, the audience LOVED the show hooting and hollering at their friends and laughed and clapped as loud as they could and our little Basin City, WA kids delivered a hell of a show.

I could have died....

2006-10-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

Hopefully the title of this entry immediately pulls you in and your heart starts pumping, shouting, "NO, NOT CHRIS, I LOVE HIM!"
It has now been a week since my wild adventures in Redway, CA and I just found out yesterday from member of staff at the home office that I was in serious danger that night (see "WILD NIGHT" below) because it is pot drying season and they said it is common for people to set up heavily guarded barbed wire fences with machine guns and LANDMINES...yes, machine guns and landmines...sweet mary... I could have had my leg blown off that night by a landmine and NOT had a cool war story to back it up with.

This week we are in Mesa, WA where once again we have heard horror stories of badly behaved children and we have a 9:30am Friday show which means we have like 3 days to pull this one together.

Well, off to auditions I go!!! Thanks for reading!

2006-10-13T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well I promised you pics and here you go!

We taught an adventure workshop to this entire school yesterday. (There was 8 kids)

Not a bad view for a playground view in a K-3 school eh?
The teachers actually cook home ade lunches for the kids.

Teaching a make-up workshop to a different school in Humboldt County, CA (Yes, that again is the entire school)

This is the cabin they forced us into for the week until we told them we could barely fit our stuff in it, let alone sleep!

Our wonderful day off last Sunday in Old Sacramento...she relented to give me her number.

SHOW PICS FROM OROVILLE, CA: (last week)

The crazy faced sea horse in the foreground is the family I stayed with all week...mmmm.

I told the sea horses that if they picked their seahorse noses on-stage they would be drop-kicked and cast into a blazing hot fire, so this little one decided to get it all out backstage...smart girl.

Our drive from Oroville to Redway was amazing...

WILD NIGHT

2006-10-11T14:03:00.000-07:00

What happens in Redway stays in Redway...that is unless you have faithful followers who care enough to read your blog! So I will share with you an incident that I still haven't recovered from.

Firstly I will say that the audition was an unbelievable success! Shirnest and I went in there with our high heels (not really mom) and power shirts and LAID DOWN THE LAW. The kids were impeccably behaved the entire audition and the second someone got out of hand I said, "OH! It looks like you don't want to be in the show!" and she immediately sat down with her mother boring a hole into her head from behind.

But I have promised you an adventure and here it is, EXACTLY as it happened:

The other evening I set out after rehearsals (11pm) to find my new home stay.(the family I would be staying with) Directions had been given to me by the mother herself and I was sure that I could find it no problem. This was not realizing that in Humboldt county blinding darkness and poorly marked street signs are a norm. I soon found myself so deep into the woods on a bumpy dirt road that I knew I was lost. A few more minutes of driving soon found me at a little house which I thought may be my family, but upon peering through the window of my little red truck I saw that a mother and her H.S. aged daughter were looking perplexed at me through the kitchen window as though no one had ever made it this far into the woods except for them.

"Uhhh, Hello." I said, more terrified at what they were thinking than anything else.
"I think I'm lost." I continued, stupidly.
"Yes, yes you are." the mother said, making things more uncombfortable by the second.

She asked if I would like to come in and make a phone call as my cell phone was utterly useless at that point and I did. After calling my family several times I was pretty sure I would be sleeping in the truck that night until the woman said, "I think you may want to consider sleeping here tonight."
I could not believe that a random mother living among the tree people would offer such a thing to a complete and utter stranger...
"Oh, really? Well, ok then." I seriously didn't know what else to say and the H.S. aged daughter was in disbelief that her mother had just offered such a thing and that I had actually accepted.

"Allright, well you can sleep in Sienna's room because she is at her Dad's this week." she said.

Just then the phone rang and sure enough it was Sienna who was calling in tears. At that moment the impossible happened and the mother said these EXACT WORDS:

"AH! They didn't cast you! Oh honey you must be so upset!"

In my adventures I had forgotten about the audition that day and could never in my wildest dreams have imagined that I would stumble into a house where they not only had heard of Missoula Children's Theatre, but of course, I had failed to cast their little girl in the show.

I apologized incessantly for not casting the kid and asked if I could still stay the night. She laughed and said of course and there I slept, in the little girl's bed who's dreams I had just crushed probably changing the course of her life from wildly succesful actress, to janitor of a strip club.

The awkwardness would have ended there if the next morning the mother hadn't strolled into the kitchen completely NAKED forgetting that she had invited a 23 year old boy into her house the night before.

TRUE STORY.

A trying week...

2006-10-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry about not posting last week in Oroville, CA, but it was such a small town that finding internet was nearly impossible...The show was great though and the head of the company randomly showed up for the show and loved it!

This week in Redway, CA should prove to be an interesting one. Every former tour actor we have asked has just laughed and said, "GOOD LUCK!" when we asked them how it was in Redway. First of all, no one has ever heard of it. People 200 miles south of here in Sacramento deny it's existence and even I was starting to doubt it until we pulled into our tiny cabin late last night. ( I will be posting pic's of just how small it is)

The last MCT team that came through here last year has forewarned us about the behavior of the kids and they felt that the parents don't really believe in teaching their kids about respect and discipline so they just sort of run wild. WELL, our auditions are in 3 hours and we are expecting in the 80-90 kids so I'll let you know!

Thank you to all who read this and either make comments or email me...it's very encouraging!

Meet Jason

2006-10-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

At the audition he didn't do anything to impress us. He was the 11 year old boy who was too scared to speak loudly and seemed more interested in his shoe laces than much else but Shirnest and I agreed that he looked like he might be able to handle a large role so we gave him Gil, the young merboy who is heavily sought after by the other mermaids.
He struggled all week to learn his lines and even up till show day he couldn't seem to memorize them. We were a bit worried but he had come such a long way with projecting his voice and embracing his part as the young merboy in love that we weren't too upset with him. The day before the show we were informed by the principal of the school that Jason's dad was highly abusive to him and Jason was more or less a "door mat" (as the principal put it) for the kids at school to step on and ridicule. I got goosebumps when I learned this information and then suddenly it all made sense...the countless times he asked me how he was doing with his part and how his voice sounded (even though he didn't really sing), the way he would get embarrased when the other girls would say "HI GIL!" (his character's name) in their flirty teenage way on-stage and how every 5 seconds during the show when we were backstage he would ask me, "Did I do my lines right Chris?!?!"

After the show was over and we were packing up the set he came over to me with his mom and little brother a few steps behind and he just stared up at me with the brightest smile I have ever seen as though expecting me to say something...so I looked at him and said, "Do you have any idea how proud I am of you Jason?" He just giggled, gave me a extra hard high five and said, "I did it!"

Pee in my pants

2006-09-28T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am writing this blog so late in the evening because I am officially nervous as hell about the show tomorrow. I can't remember feeling more helpless on-stage, firstly because for some reason my lines won't sink in, and secondly, the kids aren't getting it.
I can honestly say that a good deal of this is Shirnest and my fault because we so poorly taught a good deal of the show and now the kids have pretty much no idea what to do or say. Amidst all this, we have a show tomorrow at 12:45pm California time (think of me please!) in which the entire Merced, CA K-8 kids and staff will be attending (500+ people) after the worst run I have ever seen during todays rehearsal...Perhaps the most terrifying moment was when the kids starting uncontrollably giggling during the final scene (which took us 2 hours to get to instead of 50 min) because the Prince couldn't remember any of his lines...I'm not so much mad as utterly bewildered at their behavior...
I think it goes without saying that I'll be sayin some SERIOUS prayers this evening!

Silly Merman...

2006-09-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

I swear I brought my camera to rehersal with me to take pic's of confused children running around on stage but the truth is that we are frighteningly far behind and have a show for the ENTIRE SCHOOL tomorrow at the crack of dawn and we have yet to put the whole show together!

I'll do better today and promise to take some pics but if things go as badly as they did yesterday it could be a disaster! Teaching a new show is SO HAAAARD... Especially when kids are already forced to whisper ME my next line while I wander around bewildered in my little Merman costume...

Trouble

2006-09-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

Explanation...

2006-09-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

I swear I brought my camera to rehearsal with me to take pics of confused children running around on stage but the truth is that we are frighteningly far behind and have a show for the ENTIRE SCHOOL tomorrow at the crack of dawn and we have yet to put the whole show together!

I'll do better today and promise to take some pics but if things go as badly as they did yesterday it could be a disaster! Teaching a new show is SO HAAAARD... Especially when kids are already forced to whisper ME my next line while I wander around bewildered in my little Merman costume...

Killin me smalls...

2006-09-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

These kids SERIOUSLY don't mess around!
I admit, I am pretty stinkin rusty remembering the best way to teach these kids a show, which of course is exacerbated by the fact that I don't really know our "The Little Mermaid" show very well at all.
Yesterday I was teaching the Seasiders (8-10 yr olds.) their huge group numbers and I kept forgetting the words to the song and when I would repeat it one little Hellian child kept yelling at me, "YOU KEEP SAYING THE WRONG WORDS...THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"
I guess it's good that they are smart kids this week even if they are little sass buckets.

PICTURES OF SHIRNEST (my new tour partner) AND I TEACHING THE WAYS OF THE MERMAID ON THE WAY!

Oh Boy!

2006-09-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day back with my brand new show, partner and of course children and I am moderately terrified...

We are in the lovely town of Merced, CA and are expecting at least 100 kids at todays audition!
My new partner called me about a week ago and said in the sweetest voice imaginable, "Hey new partner, you know you are going to be performing the first week right?"
There was little I could say because I knew she had been touring for 3 years so I agreed knowing that I really didn't know my 5 million lines at all.

SO HERE I AM, about to audition these kids in a few hours with a show I'm not terribly familiar with (the fall tour rehersals are at 3pm) and I just found out that Friday morning we will be having a show for the enitre school...oh poo!

New Show, New Partner, New Kids!?!?!

2006-09-18T22:56:00.001-07:00

OOOOOOOO YEAAAA! Starting in a few days I will touring the entire county with "THE LITTLE MERMAID"...yes that's right. I have been tirelessly working out over my break so I will fit into the shell bra and fins so I can be the hottest Ariel EVER.
Actually I won't be playing Ariel but I have a pretty cool role and my partner seem awesome so I am pretty exctied about my new tour!

Pictures and action-packed days ahead so stay tuned for Chris Harbur's Tour (Part Deux)!!!!

Meth Capitol, U.S.A

2006-08-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

With a population of 1560, Mill City, Oregon is famous for two things:
1. A freakishly high teen pregnancy rate. (Most girls have lost their virginity by the 8th grade)
2. Crystal meth.
If there was ever a town who needed Missoula Children's Theatre, it was this one.

It was my last week touring The Jungle Book, and at our audition on Monday 50% of the kids were already complaining about their parts.
In my job we get 5 days to put the show together because we are in a new town every week and after 4 solid days of kicking, screaming and temper-tantrums our little Mill Citians were in serious trouble because for the first time all summer, no one had their lines memorized and the show was 7pm the next day...
"By a show of hands, who promises to learn their lines tonight so you can sleep in tomorrow?"
2 of the 45 kids raised their hands.
"So....you guys don't want to learn your lines, don't want to rehearse and just have a bad show in front of everyone in your town tomorrow right?" I said irately.
"W-w-well Chris..." one girl bravely stammered, "we want to come in early tomorrow because we really need the practice."
With all of the ridiculousness that had taken place this week these kids really did care...
I had unfairly judged them and Friday morning they hustled in and by that night we had a pretty darn good show with the loudest, most enthusiastic audience we've ever had!

Shere Kahn, Shere Kahn!

2006-08-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

No matter how bad a week may seem, there is always at least one kid who makes it all worth while. This week it was our Shere Kahn (the scary tiger). We have never cast a girl Shere Kahn before but there was a girl who was so perfect for the role that we couldn't resist...and she didn't disappoint.
Every single day this girl would bring in something that reminded every one else in the cast that she was indeed a terrifying tiger; Tuesday it was a Cincinnati Bengals Hat, Wednesday it was fuzzy black tiger ears and not only that but every time a character said "Shere Kahn" during the rehearsals she would flex her muscles back stage in a state of sheer bliss. If only we could take her every where!

Wolf Pack 12, Pythons 6

2006-08-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

Teaching wealthy, somewhat spoiled and wildly underrated kids has had it's obvious challenges this week but today I came up with a pretty damn good system for rehearsals. Every animal in our show was broken up and put into groups (The wolf pack, the monkeys, the pythons etc.) and every time they had their individual scene or song we would award points based on their acting, loudness and be quiet back stage. We put up all the teams on a huge dry erase board and lemme tell you.... I have never had a more animated, excited and well behaved Thursday rehearsal in my life. Even the 3 little Japanese girl who had been virtually inaudible all week shouted their lines with all the fierceness the lines demanded!

Helloooo Bellevue, WA!

2006-08-09T23:53:00.000-07:00

Katie and I walked into the audition on Monday and looked around at hoards of kids that lined the huge gym floor....I looked up at a sign that read, "Day Camp for ages 5-11".
"We a going to cast 11 year olds in 16 year old parts?" I said incredulously to Katie. Katie looked at me equally terrified as we approached the center of the vast circle.
"Allllll right, hey guys! Katie and I are so glad to be here in Bellevue this week! Does anyone know what show we are doing on Saturday?" I asked the kids.
"JUNGLE BOOK!" roared the kids giggling with glee.
"YEEAAAAYYY that's right boys and girls! Now if you are 11 years old please stand up and line up over in the corner..."I ordered, praying that half of them would stand.
Four kids stood up and shuffled to the corner.

Two hours later though we had the entire show cast and the youngest Jungle Book show ever was on it's merry way!

Abundance!

2006-08-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

As I listen to those around me worry about money and things of that nature I kind of came to an interesting revelation today... we will always have enough to do whatever it is we need to do.
The earth is an incredibly abundant place and what I need to start to doing more is genuinely believe and trust that I am entitled to some of that (unfortunately I don’t think it’s something you can fake). Albert Einstein said, "The universe is conspiring for us..." and I sort of realized today that if I do what my heart and intuition are telling me to do, not only will I be successful but I will receive all the abundance this earth has to offer me...easier said than done!

The show MUST GO ON!

2006-08-06T22:55:00.000-07:00

The most difficult and frustrating week of my life came to a close today after two very interesting shows...It was wierd because during the 1st show, kids were breaking out of their characters and poking each other and monkeys were taking off their ears and one little 7 ywear old kept saying "They hate us, they hate us!" during the performance! After the first the show Katie and I were pretty down in the dumps because of what happened but then it hit us....These kids had no idea how to behave in front of an audience! That kid had heard the audience laughing and thought they were making fun of him! We had forgotten that this was the first time this town had ever brought in our company and when we got back for the second show we told the kids how to behave in front of an audience and the second show was worlds better.

Reeaalllly workin against us

2006-08-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

Forget monkey behaviour problems, an elephant with apparent short term memory loss and kids who don't like the dance breaks in the show, (which has NEVER happened) this space we have this week is essentially a glorified closet. Katie and I are cutting them a lot of slack because this town so desperately needs this program but this week has been a true test of our patience and with a show tomorrow you can bet we lit a fire under their little jungle book buns today...

If you build it, they will come....

2006-08-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was about 55% confident today that kids would show up for the audition, and when we arrived nobody was there. Granted this was an hour early but usually the over achieveing families and stage moms would be there by now. A half hour till the audition rolled around and not one single child had arrived and Kaite and I , along with the staff of adults who were there began pacing frantically, checking through the windows every four and half seconds like mad men. 15 minutes till 10 rolled around and now I pretty much figured it was a time for me to call the home office who informed me that if only 10 kids come we could do a "showcase" style show with solos and such....The lady who had worked so hard to publicize this event had now taken to a chair, defeated.
It wasn't until about 6 minutes before we were to start that kids began rolling in, in massive groups and a few moments later, 47 kids had signed up all wanting to be a part of the Jungle Book...The head staff woman rose from her chair, with tears forming in her eyes and gave a giant hug to all the others on the staff, who also shed tears of relief and gratitude.

Lincoln City NEEDS us!

2006-07-31T00:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is wildly important for this small town on the coast of Oregon because theatre is dying and they thought that bringing in our company might be a way to get the town excited about theatre again... We were told that newspaper articles, radio interviews and flyers were all done in order to publicize this event but every one is terrifed that no one will show up for the audition...I too am worried that we won't have enough kids to pull this thing off, but I guess right now all I can do is just know that the best publicity we got right now is G-O-D.
Your prayers will be greatly appreciated...

FAILURE?!?!

2006-07-30T00:17:00.000-07:00

I have always prided myself in knowing that I can talk a kid into overcoming pretty much anything they can dish at me.
Well, Joey was a 7 year old who had been a difficult monkey to control all week but I figured after he had done the show and felt the sense of accomplishment every kid does, he would straighten right out. 2 hours before our show today though, Joey decided he wasn't going to do the show.

"I just wanna be a watcher." he explained.

"What? C'mon buddy you're the loudest monkey we got up there, we need ya!" I retorted.

"I can't ok? I had a bad dream about Dementors last night and I can't go on-stage!"

How this kid managed to link the dark, creepy villains in the Harry Potter books with not wanting to put on a monkey suit, I'll never know.

After about 30 minutes of trying everything from phoning home, to setting up scenarios in which all the female wolves (11-16 year olds) pleaded with me in front of him to be monkeys, to telling him that monkey's can scare away Dementors, I gave up.
I can’t recall one single time in 22 years when I couldn’t talk a kid into doing something. It was especially painful because I knew that if he just got up there on stage and did the show he would feel amazing afterwards and probably remember it the rest of his life. Our good friend Joey though, did not perform today and left me confused, annoyed and dis-heartened….thanks for nothing Harry Potter.

Dealing with the mentally handicapped

2006-07-28T23:37:00.000-07:00

This is the first week where Katie and I have had to deal with a truly mentally handicapped kid. At the audition we weren't entirely sure if there was something wrong with her because she seemed pleasant enough and didn't have any physical handicap or anything so Katie and I gave her a pretty big role because she is 18 (the oldest by far at the audition). Well tomorrow is the big show and although there has been marked improvement throughout the week I am a bit nervous because she had an outburst yesterday during lunch that took a lot of reasoning on our part to work through...She was wearing a shirt today that said something about Down-Syndrome even though she doesn't look like a downs child which threw me off a bit. I was trying to talk to her mother after, to get ANYTHING out of her as far as what we might be dealing with but she just smiled and kept saying, "This is so good for her!"
At any rate all I can do is just be super prepared for tomorrow and put it all in God's hands...

Bellingham, WA

2006-07-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Another week, another show...This is town is gorgeous located right on the Pacific Ocean! As for the kids this week, it was another 60 person cast-all and we had 3 kids at the audition who everytime we asked them to say a line would bust out crying until eventually they just sat out...I approached one of them after and told him how cool his part would be if he was in the show and he told me he was too scared. Well today our young friend approached me first thing in the morning and informed me that he was going to play Mowgli (our lead role) because, "Mowgli is supposed to be a young boy (we cast a girl) and I am a young boy!" Now normally I would've smiled and given him a little pat of encouragement on the back but this kid was truly a brat so instead I said, "Nope!" and walked away....too bad, so sad.

Pictures of the last few weeks

2006-07-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from our Sunday's off while in Washington...

Coming from places where mountains don't exist, Katie and I decided
"RattleSnake Ledge" was about our speed...

The 1.5 mile hike up was pretty sweet even though my native garb was not readily accepted by the somewhat unruly Washington hikers in their fortified boots and tight jeans.

This is the top where we decided it appropriate to something awkward so as to continue the stereotype of Thespians.

The stunning lake we swam in at the bottom...It was FIERCLY cold.
This field was littered with rattle snakes and I can't remember ever being so afraid as I ran through these fields clapping like a buffoon to scare them away.
"I like white water rafting!" proclaimed Chris.
Some sage advice from the Middle School at Ellensburg where we had rehearsals.
This was taken tonight in Ellensburg...It is the highest spot in the farm town and people in the town drive up to it, park, chill with their families and watch the sunset.
That's me...Chris...Chris Harbur

Show time!

2006-07-22T23:17:00.000-07:00

This week I returned to the stage in all my furry glory and it was everything I hoped it would be; confused monkeys, sweaty lights and best of all, a big fat bloody nose from our Mowgli about 10 seconds before the overture started.
I was taking a few calming breath while Katie was giving the opening speech when all of a sudden I felt a frantic tug on my bear suit. I opened my eyes and turned around to find our Mowgli with the most fearful eyes I have ever seen and rightly so....blood was dripping out of her nose at an alarming rate and everyone around her began "backstage screaming" which consists of wild physical movement with no sound. I ran as fast as I could to a huge pile of junk which lay back stage in hopes of finding ANYTHING that could stop the raging flow...By some grace of God, a small pile of napkins sat underneath an old dusty chair and I grabbed them and shoved them on her nose. I had already missed my cue to come and stage so I jumped from behind the curtain and shouted my first line, somewhat incoherently but audibly nonetheless. I knew that in 2 more lines Mowgli was to make her entrance and I wondered what Baloo the Bear would say if his young man cub had a bloody nose...

"BAGHEERA, STOP BEATING UP ON MOWGLI AND GET OUT HERE!"
I mean it seemed pretty legit to me and out came Mowgli, napkin drenched in blood and all, with Bagheera the Panther right behind her.
All in all the show was a success and our little man cub's nose bleed stopped about 15 minutes later...just in time for her solo!

Realization about teaching kids...

2006-07-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Katie I were pretty tough on the kids...If they didn't know their lines we let them struggle and feel embarrased, if they missed a cue, we just stared at the empty stage. After rehearsal I was feeling like I had been a little too harsh on them and maybe there was a better way to teach them....
Well, today very few lines were forgotten and almost no cues were missed and I came to the realization that all the kids are going to remember is their own performance when it comes to the show. If they do poorly on show day, they aren't going to reflect back on the week and say, "Well at least Chris was a fun director!"
Now obviously this doesn't mean that I'm going to be a slave driver but I think it might be o.k to light a fire under their little buns if they need it...

A thought...

2006-07-20T00:35:00.000-07:00

A kid at the audition this week who really caught my attention was this 12 year old, wildly talented full of smiles girl who I couldn't wait to make the head of Kaa, (one of the most difficult roles in the show.)
Today she didn't show at up rehearsal and when I called home the mother picked up and quite irately told me that she would not be doing the show because they never gave her permission to audition...This little girl snuck out of the house because she so desperately wanted to be in a show and her parents are now severally punishing her for it and would clearly rather see her puffing the magic freakin dragon than using her imagination and making friends...Survey says?!?!
BOOOOOOOOOOO

Farm Town...

2006-07-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

Ahhh the little town of Ellensburg, Washington...The first thing we saw upon entering the town was signs for a rodeo followed by a 300 year old man carrying a saddle.
We only had 50 or so at the audition so everyone was cast and no one is much over 12 and with a Friday show ahead of us, it should prove a challenging week.
This is a strange feeling I have had of late, but in the last week or so I have had 3 different serious circumstances in which my intuition has subtly told me to do something and I have sub-consciously shrugged it off only to have the instance turn into a complete disaster. (One was my wallet and one was locking both sets of keys into the car about an hour ago.) SERIOUSLY, I don't know if I've just been distracted lately or plain stupid but I can't seem to snap out of it.

Show #4 (KENT, WA)

2006-07-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

Both of our shows went great and as I was selling T-shirts after the show, the parents stormed the stage, tore down the set and packed our car so by the time I was done selling shirts, there was nothing to be done! There was one mother in particular who is a lumber jack and carried the insanely heavy led poles BY HERSELF...It was truly something to behold and I thanked God that I had casted her child.
The after party was a Dairy Queen and the entire city of Kent was there and applauded as Katie and I walked in. The funny part is the fact that some of our leads told us that they will be coming to the next town to audition again...Uhhhh I think they were serious.

2006-07-15T00:30:00.000-07:00

Not being able to perform tomorrow has kinda made this week very strange for me...All this preparation has gone into this show for tomorrow and I will be back stage helping kids with cues and changing scenes. Katie and I actually talked about this today and she decided that she prefers doing back stage stuff which is GREAT! So I guess I'll be performing most of the summer...cooooool beans.
Today was a super-duper day because not only was it sunny and beautiful the entire day, but my debit, credit and driver's liscence arrived so I am a real person again!

How you know you're growing up...

2006-07-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

1) You have to figure out all aspects of how to go about getting health insurance. (scary)

2)What the heck you're supposed to do with a 401k. (terrifying)

3)11 year olds are showing you cool things on your cell phone you NEVER knew you had. (unbelievable)

4)You are asked to be a groomsman at your close friend's wedding!!! (P.S. I was so honored I got goosebumps when he asked me)

I seriously never thought I'd see that day any of these things would be a consideration...

Kids...

2006-07-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

I came to a realization today that has kinda inspired me... Kids have the unbelievable ability to just commit to something 100% without any kind of resistance or judgement. Katie and I were doing a workshop today for 5-8 year olds in which we set up a fantasy jungle and the kids navigate there way through it. When we learned this workshop in training I thought it was going to be so stupid and the kids would never buy it, but they LOVE IT! It made me realize that I have this problem of resisting and half-assing (pardon the expression) WAY to many things in my life and that I need to inhibit more of that child like "spirit".

Whooooof

2006-07-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

Allright so that week off reaaaalllly got the best of me today as I was all over the map teaching these kids. We ended up with about 150 kids at the audition which was fine and these kids even had little business cards they tried to hand me during the audition as a gimmick...HA!

Gettin back into it...

2006-07-09T22:51:00.000-07:00

After our week off I am actually pretty nervous about tomorrow because we are expecting around 170 for tomorrow's audition. Plus Katie and I are switching around everything and she is going to be Baloo and I am going to be directing more and teaching new things which scares me a bit...Oh yea, we're in Washington now by the way.

Ohhhh that week off

2006-07-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

Katie and I have been about as lazy and gluttonous as they come this last week. Here are a few pics of the adventure:

"I am quite frightened of this new city because they have trolleys, cable cars, buses and cars all on the same street."

But the fear soon faded and I was riding the trolley like a pro.

They have buildings in San Fran.

Ahh yes, my first touch of the Pacific...it was delectable

We went to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk for a day and went on about 10,000 rides

Ohhhhh that Pacific Ocean, you devil of a good time...

At Washington Square Park, a man from the far east does Tai-Chi.

Oh yea, we were there...

The park was preeeeety

Snapshot of the city

Inspired by the man in the park, I give Tai-Chi a try.

After release of this photo, PLEASE do not call me with modeling offers....no, seriously, don't.

These monkeys were clearly disturbed about something.

Perhaps it as because they saw our production of the Jungle Book and were dismayed/terrified/confused by the monkeys in the show

I mean.... this kid was money as "Wolfy" in last week's show.

Our drive into Half-Moon Bay was foiled by masses of traffic but that didn't stop me from getting a quick picture out the window...

It had been about 15 years since my last bubble bath so I was due...

Wierd day...

2006-07-01T01:21:00.000-07:00

Today was show-day. We weren't called till 1pm which was great cause I slept in but when I woke up I felt a little weird about the day and sort of tried to brush it off figuring it was nothing.
We had SO MUCH TIME to kill before the show, and it was tough to keep the kids in line after we finished the dress and make-up. It was an almost eerie energy...the set had fallen down AGAIN, (this time on me) and the kids didn't seem to understand that in a few hours we were going to have to perform in front of an audience.
At any rate the show happened and it was better than I thought even though I had to improv about 10 different times to cover for kids which was fine because the parents were dying of laughter anyway. Our monkeys this week were seriously from an alternate universe because 90% of them literally dawdled around the stage in their little costumes as I made up lines as to why they were so lost. Hannah, Jennifer and Caroline (our leads) of course came through in the biggest way and more or less kept the show afloat as Katie and I chased wolves, elephants and mongooses on-stage for their cues.
I felt pretty darn good after the show and then a couple of us went out for food after and as I was washing my Baloo make-up off my face I placed my phone and wallet on top of the sink and left it in there by accident...When the check came I realized I had left it in the bathroom and sprinted back to get it...It was too late. My cell phone and wallet which had $250 (all my hard earned t-shirt money) along with multiple credit cards, driver license and tons of other stuff had been stolen.
I don't think I have ever lost a wallet in my entire life and know I am typing this blog feeling pretty depressed, beat up and robbed...

Last day till show...

2006-06-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

Well, our last rehearsal before show day was not too hot. I mean the kids didn't know lines, cues or much of anything and it was a real struggle to get volume in that big theatre...Our 2 female leads (Hannah and Jennifer, 13 year olds) are probably my favorite kids ever and made me a little illustrated book with all the bizarre things I say and do during rehearsals which pretty much made my week... It's wierd because as bad as today was, we had SO MUCH FUN running the show!

Dear God...

2006-06-28T22:57:00.000-07:00

It took us over 2 hours to run 50 minutes of show today. Kids were constantly swatting at bees, mosquitoes, ants, caterpillars, ladybugs, crickets, mountain lions and each other. The funny part is that I finally snapped and yelled at this 9 year old girl for flailing around behind me on-stage today and then I realized she was being attacked by fire ants and had bites all over her body...yes, it's true, I have a way with children

The sweaty stage that cuts kids when kneeled on it.

This is our "backstage" area...beautiful for lounging but not controlling 65 kids.

I feel like the theatre is more like a place for monks to get away and pray or something.

Our Saratoga Venue

2006-06-27T21:55:00.000-07:00

This week has really tested our skills with children. After our outside rehearsal today fighting mosquitoes, bees and ADD, I was extremely infuriated. These kids are very privileged and the "summer camp" mentality is reeeaaalllly working against us. I fought for 4 solid hours to get any kind of energy and/or motivation out of these kids to no avail. On the positive side our leads are very talented singers and actors so at the very least we have a solid core...

Well I tried to post pics of the venue but it isn't working. I’ll try tomorrow!

Week #3 Saratoga

2006-06-27T00:04:00.000-07:00

The theatre is magnificent, the people are friendly and the food is fabulous but there is one thing Katie and I are dreading about this week's show....IT'S AN OUTSIDE THEATRE.
Question of the week:
How the heck are we supposed to control 65 kids in FUR costumes from going insane during 95 degree rehearsals this week? (Please post any suggestions on the blog)

Ahhhh Sundays

2006-06-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

Gotta love Sundays....We only had a 40 mile drive to Saratoga so we thought we'd make a few stops on the way...

(The view from the house I stayed at in Santa Rosa)

Stop #1: St. Francis Winery

The view from St. Francis' porch

Inspired by the movie "Sideways" I give my highly trained shanauser a good wiff...My inner monologue goes something like: "Hmmmm....nutty with a touch of rasperry....and...is that....just the slightest bit of....cheese?!?!

Stop #2:San Francisco (The Giants/A's Game) @ AT&T Ball Park

San Fran Bay Area

Mr. Bonds in all his steroid-glory

Katie and I at the Park

AT&T Park over looks the Bay

Katie and I practicing for our Make-up workshop in the morning (pretty good huh?)

Show #2 (Santa Rosa Style)

2006-06-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Going into today's show we had 3 big worries:
1. Our leads singing on pitch
2. Our kids being loud enough to fill the house
3. Our set falling over and killing Akela

All was going smoothly and make-up was done with 30 min to spare! About 15 min before show time I was doing a warm-up with the kids to calm their nerves and eyes were closed. A 5 year old monkey caught my attention because he was squirming uncomfortably in his costume and within seconds the floor around him was drenched. I ran and snatched him while everyone's eyes were still closed making up new "keep your eyes closed" warm -ups to buy time to move people away from ground zero. I think only one older kid figured out what had happened and soon we were on our way back stage.
The show was great and no more bowel movements occurred, no children died as a result of a freak set falling over accident, and amazingly our lead NAILED her solo! YAY SANTA ROSA!

Day before show...

2006-06-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

Being in a 1500 seat theatre that is more or less thrust (meaning the stage comes out into the audience a little) has its definite challenges. Getting kids to stay "open" while they are acting is really, really hard because they never remember.
So today we are running "Leader of the Pack" which is a huge dance number where the wolf pack (which consists of 8 the ditziest 11-12 year old girls we can find) are singing their hearts out to Akela (the studly leader of the pack) and Akela is up on this huge rock flexing his muscles etc... All of a sudden the set, which is about 20 ft high, topples over right on top of him and half of the wolf pack....what followed was the deafening, pre-pubescent screams of 57 children who were all jumping off the stage as if an earthquake was taking place. As monkeys, rock pythons and wolves flew off the 4 ft. stage, I couldn't help but die of laughter. It took about 25 minutes to get every one back under control and our rehearsal was cut short...too bad there is a show tomorrow.

Hard job...

2006-06-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

This job is so difficult because there are SO MANY things to remember! We are supposed to call the home office every Wednesday and we forgot, we are supposed to call each new place two weeks in advance and a week in advance (we forgot) AND we have to do laundry every single week, (which we barely remembered today) to name a few of them.
As far as our little show this week, it is going pretty smooth. We got comp tix to see Ringo Star and his all-star band last night (tix went for $120) and some of his instrumentalists were simply phenominal. Jealous???

Santa Rosa!

2006-06-20T23:44:00.000-07:00

It turns out that we had about 115 at the audition which threw Katie and I off a bit because we had prepared for around 200...We ended up casting the entire show in 45 minutes and having an hour to check and double check our decision. The space is H-U-G-E at the Wells Fargo Center and seats 1500+. They have Ringo Star coming tonight and Bill Cosby in a month or so. I am a little worried about the stage because it is Ginormus and there is minimal room backstage so we'll see what happens. We sold 55 t-shirts last week in Napa and they told us we could keep the additional 20% commission so Katie and I are rollin in the dough this week! WHOOOOO!

Ready to do it ALL OVER...

2006-06-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning I couldn't help feeling like I had just conquered a small country. I just lay there, in my luscious queen size bed at the Travelodge knowing that every single one of those kids had just done something truly remarkable. Today was going to be a relaxing day driving to our new spot, Santa Rosa, CA...and thats exactly what it was.
The only troubling thing that happened was that when we arrived to our new destination, we found out that in the morning numbers are expected to be in the 200's for the audition....God help us!
STAY TUNED...

The BIG DAY

2006-06-18T00:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the internet was down here so I couldn't write but we actually ran the show, almost two full times before we had to release them and the amazing thing is that they were very solid runs....However, today was going to be the true test for these Napa kids because the call time was 10:30 am and the show wasn't till 3pm, so Katie and I figured we had plenty of time to get them into costume, make-up, and do a dress rehearsal before the audience came...I have never estimated a time block so poorly in my life.

First, the dress rehearsal was rough. Kids were missing cues left and right because of a bathroom epidemic and one of our pee-wee's (5-7 yr olds) decided to lose her first tooth soon after which sent all of our monkey people screaming from the blood on her hands; not to mention the fact that I had so much to think about I couldn't even get my own lines right. At one point I give the cue line for the monkeys and I said, "Now give us the Man cub, Monkey People!" and one little 5 year old girl stops the dress rehersal and says, "You're saying your line wrong! You're supposed to say; Now give up the man cub, Monkey People!"

Next, we figured that 1 hour prior to the show would be plenty of time for make-up but then we went into the dressing rooms and discovered that we were going to have make-up 57 kids faces in a 2 foot wide hall-way. About 45 kids later I looked down at my watch and saw that we had 8 minutes until we had to get on stage but 12 kids still stood in my line...Half of me was ready to jump ship as I literally painted brown "racing stripes"on the last 12 kids (who were all supposed to be wolves). The last girl in line wondered if I had a costume too...It was right about that moment when I hit rock bottom. I now had a total of 2 minutes to put on my Baloo costume, slap on my make-up, and run upstairs to the stage. I felt legitimate tears beginning to form in my eyes as the thought of this show failing became a very real possibility...My brain was screaming at me to shut-down, my stomach was raging because I hadn't eat'n all day and I wanted nothing more than to sit on the ground and cry.

I sprinted into to dressing room, jumped into my bear suit, took my finger and threw it in brown make-up to streak my face and dashed up-stairs literally as the piano started it's overture and to make a long story short, the show rocked! Not a single line was dropped (except by me) and our little Jungle Book show was a complete success.

This is the end of our finale song

The monkey costumes are quite possible the most amazing things ever...

"Run the show" DAY

2006-06-16T01:05:00.000-07:00

I put "Run the show" in quotes because that is what is supposed to happen today. I think I may have over-estimated how well the kids knew their lines a bit because there were about 10 different train wrecks on-stage today. It is difficult for them to know their cues because the scripts we give them only have their individual lines in them so there was mass chaos for about 3 hours today. The scary part is the fact that we only have 1 more rehearsal until the show on Saturday so I'm begninng to get a liiiiiittle bit worried. In the audition on Monday we select 4 Assistant Directors (AD's) to help out with lights, sound and backstage and one girl we selected this week (10 years old) was laying on the stage at the end of rehearsal exhausted and when I asked her why she was so tired she yelled, "ACTORS ARGHHH!"

Pics

2006-06-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

This was by far the scariest plane ride I have ever had because not only was I flying in adverse weather conditions on a prop plane to the middle of nowhere (Missoula, MT) I was sitting next to a gay hair dresser from L.A. who desperately wanted to make me over...true story.

This is the view from the bridge we walked over every day to get to training.

This Squirrel would seriously sit outside my window every morning and let me photograph him. After about a week of this, I told him I was feeling a bit creepy about our unusual relationship and he ran away, never again to return to my window...also a true story

This is for you people who don't believe my story...

Some of the most genuinely kind people I have ever met Perry Thurman (probably my top 10 favorite people of all-time) was my roomate during the training in Montana, and yes that's Dori from
"Finding Nemo" clutched in his arms...he's from Minnesota.

We took a little 180 mile detour on our way to Napa, CA so we could drive through Yellowstone. I am wearing a pair of avaiators that I purchased at Super Walmart for $4.65 (Aren't you proud mom?)

This was actually a bit frightening because these buffalo stormed the roads and started ramming cars.

(You can click any of these images to enlarge them)

Day 2 and 3

2006-06-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

Kids are remarkable...In the last 2 days, (6 hours of rehearsal) these kids have not only memorized 50 pages of lines BUT they know 6 giant ensemble dances, songs and movement. Granted we are in a pretty upscale place in California with kids who go to gifted schools, but these kids are sponges and rarely need to be given acting notes twice. Of course there are the kids who are pretty shy and can't fill the huge Opera House but for the most part they are sharp. The only thing that really sucks is that my voice is so hoarse from talking loudly for 4 hours a day and I have to perform two shows on Saturday but I'll stick it out. The one big concern Katie and I have right now is that Kaa the 9 person snake reaaaalllly doesn't have any idea when they say what line even though I swear I taught them correctly....

DAY ONE--- The Audition

2006-06-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

All I have to say about today is WOW. This is the most challenging job I have ever had in my life... So today we pull into Napa, CA and walk into the Opera House (which is stunning) and find a room full of 95 children all DYING to be a part of the Jungle Book.... The amount of fear and anxiety that washed over me at that moment was unreal. Probably because in the next 100 minutes, Katie (my touring partner) and I were going to have to find 57 able children to cast in the show which, by the way, we had only just learned how to do in training 3 days prior. Now this was sure to be a monumental task because not only were we going to have to make 95 children behave for 2 hours, but their parents as well...You see, in the acting world we have these mother's called Stage Mom's. Stage Mom's are the wonderful people who demand that their little Susie has the best voice in her school and must have a leading role or they'll find out where you sleep.
By the grace of God, 2 hours later we had our cast and after announcing all 57 of them, there was a cacophony of laughter, temper-tantrums and tears.